All Things In Moderation

I got up this morning knowing today was a cardio day. My thoughts were, do I want to go down in the basement gym and do it there, or take this workout outside? The first thing I did was check the weather.

Not bad for January. The rain / snow mix wasn’t supposed to start until much later ……. should I go for it???

Yeah, why not. It’s something different, and a good way to mix up my workout, plus I am really curious to see if walking is something that will work for me in the weight loss department.

Although it wasn’t the most beautiful day of the week, pretty gray and overcast, the temps were not bad, and all in all the walk was nice. I’d be lying if I said I loved every single minute of it, but that is where I am right now in my exercise routine. I just don’t “feel like” doing anything! I’m over riding the instinct to just do nothing, though.

I would say the worst / most challenging part was the walk up my road to my house. I don’t think this picture even comes close to how steep and quad killing this walk actually is! When you finally get to the top, your butt is screaming for mercy!

So in the end, I am really glad that I did this. I got in 3 miles of very good mixture of hilly and flat terrain. When I got home I FELT like I had a good workout. There was no one on the roads, and I got a lot of peace and quiet to think. I also got a bonus dose of fresh air along with my exercise, and that is always a good thing.I came away with a feeling of accomplishment.

My goal for now is , weather permitting, to get in 2-3  3 mile walks in a week.

My food so far this week has been great. I’ve not surpassed 1400 calories and I am not starving. I’ve been sleeping better [knock wood] so that’s helped. I was having a hard time with late night snacking. This will be a successful week as long as I can keep my weekend food in check .

Here goes another accountability check. This is the food I ate today …… a good day. I think I may need to document Saturdays or Sundays, because those are the days I need to be most accountable. I always find excuses to eat something I shouldn’t, and then it’s all too easy to to just say, “scrap the whole thing, let’s start fresh on Monday”. Not good!

Anyway, yesterday I went to put on a pair of jeans. Considering I am in the house more than most of them time I pretty much live in sweats. Having to put on jeans was this huge wake up call. They still fit, although they were tight …… really tight. And of course because of that , all kinds of skin “overflow” was happening. The overall effect made me feel ill. It effected me so much that I had no problem sticking to my food plan for the rest of the day. I can’t believe how out of hand this whole weight gain has become. I can’t believe that I was ever a size 6. I am beginning to wonder if getting back to 140lbs. is even possible!

Oh well, I have to try, at least. I can’t stand the way I look, or the way I feel. Here are the eats:

I supplemented these meals and snacks with lots of water [16oz. each meal and snack] and green tea.

I decided to suck it up and weight myself on Saturday. I have been afraid to look, and I think it’s time that I just get a handle on what’s really happening. Seeing that number is going to be hard, but it has to be done.

I also wanted to update my recent decision to start walking in place of running. I don’t know whatever gave me the idea that walking is “easy”. NOT! I’ve been using hill climb programs on my treadmill lately and I have to say, it is one of hardest workouts I’ve ever done! I feel every muscle in my lower body! I can’t wait for the weather to improve so I can take this new discovery out on the road! I forgot how much I loved walking. I’m really excited to see what it can do for me!

Here is a recipe [in photos] for my new favorite potatoes. It’s not only incredibly simple, it is also low in calorie and most importantly delicious!

First you need about 1.5 -2 lbs. of potatoes. I am using red potatoes, but you can use any kind you like. Fingerling potatoes ate great , and sweet potatoes would be too, although I haven’t tried them yet.

Whatever potatoes you choose, wash them really good, because you going to want to leave the skins on for this dish.

Cut your potatoes in half length-wise, and then thinly slice the halves.

Your going to need a microwave safe dish with a cover.

Put all of your potato slices into the dish.

Add one tablespoon of Extra Virgin Olive Oil.

Add salt and pepper, and any other spices you like. With your hands toss the potatoes around to make sure they are all coated with the EVOO.

Cover the dish and put into the microwave for 15 minutes.

And there you have it! A delicious , low calorie side dish! By my calculations this dish comes out to about 100 calories for 4oz. portion. And you can serve and save leftovers all in the same dish! Can’t get any easier than that!

Enjoy!

** Thanks Matt for being such a great photographer

For one entire year I was a runner. I loved it. I ran a 5k and a Half Marathon, both of which I am so proud of. During that time I was also trying to get off the weight I gained from quitting smoking. For some weird reason, I cannot lose weight when I run. I should’ve known because I’ve tried it before. My body just doesn’t respond to it, which blows my mind when I think about how many calories it burns! I find that I either stay the same , or end up gaining a bit. Another weird, but unrelated thing about me and running is, if I ran after work [4pm] I couldn’t sleep that night …….. anyway, back to the subject.

Now, on the other hand, in the past whenever I wanted to lose weight, I always walked. I swear to you, the weight would fall off when I walked regularly back in my 20’s and 30’s. I smoked at the time , so that’s why I always went the walking route, thinking I couldn’t smoke and run.

What I can’t, for the life of me, figure out is, what is the difference between walking and running? And why is my body so resistive to running??

I’ve come to the conclusion that it is just one of those mysterious things that make me unlike anyone else. It is also something that I have to accept, even thought I really , REALLY don’t want to! I loved being able to tell people I was a runner. I loved knowing I was a runner. Also, I have to admit, I really thought, and still think runners are mad cool, and really want to be a part of that! Plus it doesn’t hurt that all the “popular” kids bloggers do it. I’m embarrassed to say that I wanted to be a runner for those reasons, but they were definitely part of the appeal for me. In the end I fell in love with it for those reasons and so many more.

Now that I am serious about getting the weight off, I had to take an honest look at what works for me and what I can do to get the job done! That lead me to going back to walking this week. The weather hasn’t been cooperating much this week, so I’ve been doing it on the treadmill using some of the programs available on my treadmill. Mostly hill climbs mixed with flats so it simulates walking outdoors a little. As soon as the weather gets better , my plan is to bring it outdoors, because indoor walking or running isn’t my thing. This is sort of an experiment. I am curious to see if walking still works well for me.

The point of this post is simple. I have to be honest with myself and do what works for me. Unfortunately, although I love running, at this moment in time it doesn’t suit what I need at this moment in time. I have to accept that. I guess in a way it is a good thing. I don’t have to do what everyone else is doing. My body is different and unique. It knows what is best for it, and I have to listen to it in order to get where I want to be. No sense in fighting it, because I will probably never win.

This is not to say I will never run again. I may, after the weight is gone and I am maintaining, start again. Right now, though, I am going to do what I need instead of what I want, and see what happens.

As far as food and exercise goes this past week, I would say not bad, but not perfect either. I had a few food hiccups, unfortunately, but I did my best to not allow them to scrap the entire day. I just picked up at he next meal where I left off. I just pretended I never ate that red velvet whoopie pie [] , and moved on.

Exercise this week is another story. I did everything I was supposed to do. Not always because I wanted to , but I did it. I find it much easier to workout when I don’t want to than I do passing up yummy food, unfortunately. My goal is to make working out a habit again, so that when I don’t do it, I’m missing it, like it used to be. I think I am making progress with that. I just MAKE myself do it. In my head I am kicking and screaming, trust me, but I just do it anyway! It’s the only way!

My water this week has been better, but far from wheat I want it to be. I skip it after meals when I’m not in the mood sometimes, so there is still some work to be done there. This entire thing is a work in progress.

Ok, well I tried this feature in my blog a while back but never kept up with it. Now that I am doing pretty good, and feel like I am back on the road to weight-loss, I thought I would bring it back. This time I plan be consistent with it! Back in beginning of this blog, I would document all of my food in pictures. After a while I realized that it was getting really redundant. I eat the same thing almost everyday, especially if I like it. I also find that it is much cheaper doing it this way, and cuts down on waste, since I am the only dieter in my household.

I do think it’s beneficial to document your food , though so I decided to do it once a week as apposed to daily. This gives you an idea of what works for me, and keeps me accountable as well. So here goes:

Breakfast: !/2 cup of egg whites topped with 1 T. of shredded low fat cheddar cheese/ plain instant oats [one envelope] topped with 2 T. of dried cranberries/ banana

[I usually workout after breakfast. When I am  done, it is too close to lunch to bother with a snack so I just wait for lunch]

Lunch: 3 slices of ham on a wheat sandwich thin / baby carrots / 100 calories cookie crisps

Snack: generic brand of a Fiber One bar [cheaper and just as tasty in my opinion]

* This I would say is the hardest part of my day. The span between lunch and dinner is usually when I end up cracking and eating something I shouldn’t. If I find myself hungry even after a snack I usually have a cheese stick [not shown] and that will hold me over. I find , for me, a little protein helps carry me through till dinner.

Dinner: 4oz. chicken breast / 4 2 oz. new potatoes [awesome and super easy recipe ! will post soon] / roasted Brussels sprouts

Dessert: generic brand equivalent to a Skinny Cow Ice Cream Sandwich. [Yum!]

Snack: 1/2 cup of low fat cottage cheese / 100 calories cheese crackers

Ah yes, the ever controversial night time snack. I know all about the “no eating after 7pm” rule, but I end up picking anyway in the evening, so I decided to just work a night time snack into my calorie budget. This combination really helps me stay full and so far is doing the trick.

Problem Solved:

I mentioned yesterday how much I was struggling to get my water in. Well, I think I may have come up with a solution that is [so far] working well for me.

I am drinking one of these with each meal and snack. It is not huge and overwhelming, and it is much easier than lugging my huge 64 oz. bottle around and expecting myself to down it.This way I am tricking myself to drink a lot of water [shhhh don’t tell] without if feeling like such a huge undertaking. So fart this works well!

So that concludes this weeks addition of What I Ate: Wednesday.

Does shoveling snow count as cardio????

I sure hope so, because I am sore as hell!

We didn’t get a ton of snow [thankfully] but what there was was heavy and wet. I think I can count my 45 minutes of pushing it and lifting it as cardio. But just in case I did an extra 30 minutes of biking on the spin bike. I’m on a pretty good roll here, and I just want to keep up the momentum!

Yes that’s right, I have been doing pretty well lately. My eating is just beginning to become routine again, exactly what I needed. I am trying to steer clear of restaurants, and any gatherings where food is served. Not forever, but while I’m trying to get myself on track, it is best for me to avoid any distraction.

There are 2 big things I am struggling with that were key in my success the last time I was on this train.

• Water
• Sleep

I can’t seem to get the 8 glasses of water down. I drank all day long when I was working, and I was busy and still made it a priority. Now it seems like I will use any excuse to not have to drink it! I just can’t seem to make it a habit, and it frustrates me.

As for sleep, part of the problem is my partner. He has gotten worse and worse in the past year with the snoring. I wear heavy duty wax ear plugs to bed every night and sometimes it doesn’t help. He has been sick lately, and I am hoping once he has fully recovered I will be able to manage it with the ear plugs again. I must admit though, sometimes the reason I can’t sleep is me. Even on the best of nights, with minimal snoring, I am awake. I will usually go to bed, and  toss and turn to the point where I just get up. Some nights I am up until 1am, other nights, like last night it is 4am before I wander to bed, and even then I sleep very lightly.

Since I lost my job, my sleepless nights have increased. There is nothing more frustrating, and most of the time I end up eating something because I’m hungry. I even save spare calories now just in case. If it is going to be done at least I am being accountable for it.

I am really not sure what else to do about the sleep problem. I take Tylenol PM and it barely touches me some nights. It could be my age, too because I am sure I am entering into that wonderful “change of life stage” [great that’s all I need!] .I also think it could be anxiety. Not working just feels wrong to me sometimes. I know it isn’t forever, but I’ve been working for my entire life and not working feels unnatural. to me.

Oh well, I can’t do much with the not sleeping problem, but at least I can solve the water issue. I just have to MAKE myself do it. On that note I am off to the fridge to retrieve my trusty bottle and get started on today’s 64 oz.

I’m not really sure why, but this morning I woke up with a feeling of renewed inspiration and motivation in regard to my weight loss efforts.

I had a horrible night last night as far as sleeping goes. I am currently living with a sick husband. He snores pretty bad under normal circumstances, but with a bad cold clogging him up he sounds even worse. So loud that I my super effective ear plugs don’t even soften the sound. My pillow literally vibrates with the sound. AND he is sleeping on his side as he is doing this, so it isn’t like I can just hit him and tell him to roll over , either! I’ve been dealing with this all week now. I hate to throw him out of the room because, for one thing he has to work, cold and all, and since I’m not working yet I feel like it would be unfair to make him sleep on the couch. Secondly, I know the poor guy feels like dirt and the thought of me feeling that way and having someone waking me up and throwing me out of bed would be just cruel. So I’ve been climbing into bed progressively later each night, last night at around 3:45am. After Matt leaves for work is when I get in a few hour of decent rest, and end up forcing myself up and out of bed at about 10am. I don’t want to sleep the day away, but I have to admit, the way I feel today it may not be such a bed idea!

Anyway, Matt was off to work this morning, I got up and started some laundry, cleaned the cat boxes and started breakfast. For the first time in a long time I felt “in the mood” to track my food, and to eat healthy. The past few weeks have been one gigantic fight with myself daily. I even took out my water bottle, which has been filled and ready for drinking,untouched for weeks.

As I mentioned, I have no idea where this change of heart came from. I tried to remember when, in the past that magic “click” happened in my brain that made all the pieces fall together, and what exactly triggered it. It’s a mystery to me. I know if you ask some people who have successfully lost weight, they can remember the exact moment that everything fell into place. Not me. The last time things clicked for me, was pretty much like this time. I all of a sudden, out of nowhere, after a lot of struggle. Thankfully not as much struggle as the last time!

And so today I got this second wind. I drank all of my water and some green tea. I ate every 2-3 hours, tracked all of my food, and kept reminding myself that food is fuel, and the comfort that I THINK I am deriving from it is all false. I’ve been using food to ease anxiety, loss, sadness, boredom, frustration, fear, and all sorts of other feelings. Unfortunately the comfort is short lived. Hours later your still feeling sad, or angry, or whatever ……. plus you feel fat, bloated and guilty for having eaten a ton of crap. It isn’t a win, by any means. I wish that I was a person who treated food normally. I wish that I didn’t have these issues, but I do, and I have to just deal with it. I refuse to feel ashamed of it, because I know so many people struggle with emotional eating.

It feels really good to feel like my feet are back on the ground again. It seems like I’ve been floating aimlessly now, forever. I am certain that I will still have days when things will get hard, but I think I am up for it now.

Yes, that is the word to sum up this past week. I am a person who thrives on routine and had the same routine , with a few tweaks here and there for 20 years. I am finding it incredibly hard to figure out a new “stay at home” routine. This is going to be my reality for now, so I want to make the best of it and use it to my advantage. Unfortunately, after weeks of eating crap, not drinking water, and working out sporadically, I’ve become not only out of shape but resistant! I get like this after the holidays every year, I find it hard to redirect myself , but this feels worse. I feel like I am starting from scratch , developing new habits. It is frustrating!

I fight with myself everyday to workout. I do it, but it is like pulling teeth for me. I never had that before. I looked forward to working out and felt like something was missing all day when I missed one! Food is really a struggle. Not during the day as much as at night. I try to go to bed early but end up frustrated and up again within 30 min. of laying down. And I can’t believe how hard it is to drink water at home! I have much more time on my hands to do it than I ever had working, but I end up either forgetting it, or “not feeling in the mood for it” and giving in to those feelings! UGH! I am so frustrated with myself!

Oh well, I am far from giving up. I am determined to get into some sort of routine. Sooner or later it will stick. It has to! I’m a firm believer that the human body can adapt and get used to anything, you just have to be consistent. Right now I need to concentrate on CONSISTENCEY !!!!! Perfection isn’t necessary, just consistency.

Just for the record, my current level of frustration is not a get out of jail free card! I still plan on doing my best over the weekend to eat well [stay within budgeted calories] and move my body! I don’t have any formal workouts planned but I do have plenty of house work to do. I may throw in something a little different on Sunday as well to keep me moving.

I know that I just have to keep picking myself up and brushing myself off. I did have a few good days this week. My hope is there are even more next week!

I love beauty products, all beauty products; hair care products , skin care products, makeup, all of it! My Holy Grail Products refer to the few products that I can’t live without and always repurchase. Even when I do stray and try something new, they are the products that I always come back to. I don’t have many because I am always trying the next big thing, but here are the things that are pretty consistent with me: [in no particular order]

Tresemme’ Heat Tamer spray is something I’ve been using now for a few years, and I wouldn’t blow dry my hair or straighten it without it. When I was working I would use either or both a blow dryer and strightener on a daily basis, and thanks to this stuff I never had dry , crackly ends. It is also affordable and is easily found at most drug stores.

Dove Invisible Solid Deodorant, I love this stuff and since the first time I used it I knew I’d never use anything else. I’ve had problems in the past with other deodorants, I had issues with itching. This product is gentle to my skin but still does the job it’s meant to do.

Pears Transparent Soap, I get this for $1 a bar at most stores. It is gentler than most soaps and it doesn’t leave my face feeling tight and dry. I also love it because it makes my skin feel really , REALLY squeaky clean after a day of wearing makeup.

Biosilk Silk Therapy. This has been a miracle for me. It is one of the only must have’s that I don’t mind splurging on. I have really strange hair. It is very fine and has wave to it, but mostly it has this weird fizziness. It frizzes not matter the weather and I’ve tried almost every product imaginable to combat it. My sister-in-law gave me a sample of this that she got from her hair stylist and I’ve been using it ever since. It is pricey, but you only need a small amount to comb through you hair with your fingers after styling to see amazing results.The best part is that it isn’t heavy or greasy, something that I don’t want with my fine hair. I find this is totally worth the price and I’ve repurchased it many times.

Sally Hansen Insta-Dri Anti-Chip Top Coat. I love nail polish but haven’t worn it for years because no matter how long I wait to do my nails before bed …. it never fails, I would have sheet marks in them. It was maddening! And who has the time to sit around doing nothing waiting for polish to dry anyway? This product changed my life! You polish your nails, put this stuff on and within minutes your dry! On Thanksgiving I literally did my nails minutes before we left the house to go to dinner and I had not one smudge. Thanks to this product I can change my polish whenever I want and it never has to be a huge production! This is definitely one of my favorite products of all time!

Stila Long Wear Lip Color in Rendezous. This is my all time favorite lipstick. I’ve been wearing/ repurchasing it for about 5 yrs. now. I have a ton of lip products, all kinds of glosses and lipsticks, but I always seem to come to this in the end. It looks perfect with my skin tone and brightens up my face. It also lasts a long time on your lips and doesn’t make them feel dry if I don’t top it with balm or gloss. I love a brownish, brick red , and this color is pretty much it. Again it is pricier than I like, but I’ve tried to duplicate it with lower priced products and I just can’t seem to fine anything that compares. Thankfully a tube lasts forever!

So there you have it, some of the beauty product I can’t live without, My Holy Grail Products. What are some products that you can’t live without? I’d love to know!

This week on the Diet / Exercise  front , things are going OK. I am keeping up with my workout and sticking to my menu plan. I am struggling with night time eating, unfortunately. In the past I got up so early for work/workouts that I was exhausted at night and went to bed early, I never ate anything. It was easy to control night time eating because I was asleep! This time around is challenging because I am up later, partly because of not being able to sleep, and partly because I don’t have to get up for anything at the moment. I am seriously considering saving some calories for a night time  snack. If I am doing it anyway, why not just schedule it in?

I also have an idea for something new in exercise, but I don’t want to write about it till I decide if I want to do it or not. I have good reason for considering it, but that is story unto itself, something for a blog post all it’s own!

Anyway, I am just going to keep plugging along, eating what I am supposed to and moving my ass as much as possible.

That’s what I find myself saying every time I am away from food/calorie tracking for a while and come back. I try to eat between 1400-1500 calories a day when I am trying to lose. My technique for tracking is, the night before I take my allotted amount of calories and figure out how I can spend it to allow my the greatest satisfaction. In other words how I can spend it and get the most bang for my buck … the more food the better!. I break it down into meals and snacks, making sure that I leave a few calories at the end of the day for dessert. I can NOT love life without dessert at the end of the day so I sacrifice a little here and there so I can have it. Other that that small concession[ there are plenty of delicious low calorie dessert options and even full fat items can be juggled into the mix if you keep it in a controlled amount], I find that 1400 calories is a LOT of food. It always makes me wonder why I ever stopped tracking when it makes life so much easier.

Friday, My birthday marked the official last day of my Holiday season. It’s now time to step out of the holiday mentality and start getting serious. I have so many real goals for 2012, and I am anxious to get to working on them.

 2012:

• Loose the 40lbs. I’ve gained. Yeah I quit smoking, lost my job, lost my best friend, but those events didn’t make me gain weight …. I put the food into my mouth in search of comfort knowing damn well it doesn’t help one bit. Time to stop making excuses and just get the weight off!
• Make the best of what I have. Last time when I lost the weight I made the mistake of never seeing it as enough. I went from size 16 to size 6 and I still thought I looked “a little big”.If I didn’t think I was big then I would pick on some other flaw to bash myself for . This time will be different. This time I am not going to expect the weight loss to make me perfect. I will never be prefect and it is a waste of time to make that a goal. What I do though, is take the person that I am , except her, and make the best of it. Play up what’s good and be accepting of flaws and even count them as unique.
• Read more. I was always a huge reader. Then came the internet. This year I would love to rekindle that love affair I’ve always had with books and reading.
• Be grateful. I’ve gotten into the habit of concentrating on what I don’t have, and not opening my eyes to how lucky I really am. I have core people in my life who love me no matter what. That is lucky!
• Find a new job. This time around I would like to try something different. I’m not sure what’s out there, but I would love to find something that I could at least enjoy somewhat. Work is work, it’s not supposed to be fun, but it shouldn’t be what my last job was for me. My hope is to find a place that is tolerable, challenging and completely different that what I was doing .
• Try to stop judgment on others. You never know what someone’s real story is. You only see the outside. I’d like to be more accepting of others.

Time to buckle down! I have a some work ahead of me!